"Concern Fuels Shopping Spree" proclaims a front page headline in today's Philadelphia Inquirer. It seems that the government's raising the terrorism threat alert from yellow to orange has spurred Americans to do what they do best: go shopping.
The Inquirer offers several quotes from people enthusiastically enlisting in the government's call to shop. Says Kitty Leva: "There are terrorists out there. My husband and I and our cat have to be ready." And Natalie Hogan says: The TV-news people say America is taking safety too lightly. I don't know what to do. It's all so hard to figure out."
Fortunately, our retail establishments have stepped forward to do their part to stoke our national shopping emergency. Home Depot has put together a special display of duct tape and plastic sheeting, perfect for keeping clouds of mustard gas from getting in the house and stinking up the upholstery.
Reports the Inquirer: "People stood in nervous knots before hastily arranged displays of disaster supplies in home and hardware stores....More accustomed to questions about grouting bathroom tile than repelling chemical and biological weapons, store employees did their best." I'd say that's a heavy responsibility for people earning minimum wage.
Even the mayor of Philadelphia, great leader that he is, was spotted picking up a roll of duct tape at his local hardware store.
Of course, virtually every knowledgeable person agrees that plastic and duct tape isn't going to do a damn thing in the event of a chemical or biological attack. However, if you want to spend around $15,000 you can have a safe room constructed in your home, windowless with thick concrete and steel walls. And don't think there aren't plenty of patriotic contractors out there who wouldn't be happy to build it for you.
More than voting, more than protesting, more than educating oneself, shopping is the primary form of empowerment for many Americans. It is therefore only natural that, faced with prospects too frightful to face, shopping is where people will channel their energies and anxeties.
As for me, the amount I've spent on emergency supplies in the face of the Code Orange terrorism alert is zero. And the credit card debt holds steady at $23,210.24 even in the face of terror.
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