Friday, September 12, 2003

No Wonder Shopping Feels So Good

Courtesy of engrish.com, the hilarious website that features the fractured english that adorns merchandise and advertising in Japan and elsewhere in the non-english-speaking world, comes this shopping bag from the Wing On department store chain based in Hong Kong:



I was all ready to make fun of the language....but the more I read it, the more I felt....damn! Doesn't that exactly describe the shopping experience for most people! "Look it, taste it, feel it and get it. Then please touch yourself in your original way. Now you can see you are fresh and pure, can't you?"

Yes, that's it! The thrill of the search, the discovery, the sensual handling of the object, the orgasmic pleasure of making it yours, and then finally the sweet soul-cleansing as your new acquisition washes away your troubles and your sins, if only for those few short moments before the next unfulfilled desire takes control....

Thursday, September 11, 2003

Looking For Some of That Deferred Compensation

Hmmmm. I've got to check out the Employee Handbook at work to see if maybe I missed the part about "deferred compensation." Maybe I have a little something extra the company owes me.

Something like the $139.5 million in deferred compensation just handed to New York Stock Exchange chairman Richard Grasso. That's 140 million bucks on top of the $97 million in pay he's earned since taking the job in 1995. But doesn't include the additional $48 million more in deferred compensation he chickened out on pocketing after all the uproar over his bonus.

I guess making 97 million bucks over eight years just wasn't enough, especially for someone doing such a wonderful job--presiding over the "irrational exuberance" years of the tech stock bubble and the subsequent 27% freefall of stock market prices. Oh yes, he certainly earned that little $139.5 million bonus envelope tucked into his pocket.

Why do we put up with these obscene amounts of money paid to corporate executives in this country? You who are reading this right now, perhaps you make $25,000 per year, or $50,000 or even a $100,000. Do you really think that what Richard Grasso does is 5000 times (or 2500, or 1200) more difficult, more valuable or more constructive than what you do?

The great majority of people even in these wealthy United States will not have earnings that add up to 2 million dollars total over the course of their entire lifetime, but for some reason Richard Grasso deserves a bonus--a bonus!-- equal to 2 million dollars for every year of his expected lifespan.

A bonus--on top of his $97 million earned in salary--that works out to having $5000 in pocket money for every day of your life from birth to age 75.

A bonus that the Bush administration says should have fewer taxes paid on it, so as not to impoverish or be unfair to poor Richard Grasso.


Why do we accept this? Why?